Cleveland Angels Connection
ORDINARY PEOPLE MAKING AN EXTRAORDINARY DIFFERENCE
ORDINARY PEOPLE MAKING AN EXTRAORDINARY DIFFERENCE
Intentionality in Matching Within both the Dare to Dream® and Love Box® programs, our team makes every effort to be as intentional as possible when matching families and youth with volunteers and mentors. Case Managers at Cleveland Angels have the honor of meeting with each youth referred to our Dare to Dream® program. This gives us the opportunity to get to know the youths' unique personality, dreams, goals, and interests. It also lets us better understand what THEY want out of a mentoring relationship, as well as qualities they would like for their mentor to have. Letting the youth on our waitlist have as much choice as possible when picking a mentor is also something we are very intentional with. Many times, the youth on our waitlist get the opportunity to look at multiple bios of mentors to choose from. We put a HUGE emphasis on CHOICE since youth experiencing foster care very often do not have a say about who is and is not in their life. When someone applies to be a Dare to Dream® Mentor, we have an in-depth conversation about the program and the expectations that come with it. We also get to know the volunteers' interests, background, reasoning for wanting to become a mentor, as well as what age group they would be interested in mentoring. Once accepted as a mentor in our Dare to Dream® program, we will then meet for an hour-long orientation to make sure they are fully prepared for the program, and that any questions are answered before entering the role of a “mentor.” Last month, when a youth referral came in with interests that heavily mirrored the interests of a mentor waiting to be matched, everyone in the office was excited to send the youth the bio of the mentor to see what she thought. They both very much enjoyed being active, especially through playing sports. The youth specifically loves softball and volleyball, and recently started playing both. Sure enough, the mentor waiting has played softball the majority of her life, and has two daughters around the youths age who play volleyball. In addition to that, they both enjoy trying new things! Once sent the bio of the mentor, the youth responded quickly with a “YES!” On their first visit together, they spent time talking about what a “perfect day” with each other would look like. They both agreed that spending time hitting the volleyball back and forth or getting more comfortable with hitting a softball accompanied by trying a new restaurant would be ideal. The youth also loved that the mentor had daughters her age, and hoped that they would be involved in some of their hangouts as well. Being intentional about how we match in our programs is what makes our matches so sustainable and meaningful. If you are interested in hearing more stories about how individuals are impacted through how we intentionally match through our programs, click HERE! Hi, I'm Heather, and I have worked at Cleveland Angels as a Case Manager for three years now. Before I started this job, I had very little knowledge of anything related to foster care or trauma's effect on someone, but knew I wanted to support those who were working through it. To help build some foundational knowledge early on, our staff decided to take part in some continuing education together to deepen our understanding of trauma and how that effects the population we serve. One of the first books we read as a staff was The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk. So, how does a book about trauma and the brain relate to a the work we do at Cleveland Angels? In the book's very first section we read, "trauma is not just an event that took place in the past; it is also the imprint left by that experience on mind, brain, and body” (21). As we moved through this book I remember thinking to myself “I wish everyone could read this” because it directly relates to the reason why our programs are structured as they are. Love Box and Dare to Dream are both 12 months (+) long experiences, with a trauma informed approach rooted in building healthy, trusting relationships. As a Case Manager here, I fully recognize that I have not lived the same life, or experienced the same hardships that many of the youth I work with have. I can never fully understand how they feel. According to Dr. Van Der Kolk “Understanding Foster Care is like learning about a foreign country. If you are not from there, you don’t speak the language. Life is upside down for foster-care youth” (342). But what I can do is begin to create a safe space for them, match them with a mentor who can be in the thick of it with them, and introduce them to entire community of people who are here to cheer them on and support them. Part of my job is going to meet with youth who are newly referred to our mentorship program Dare to Dream. Whenever I go to visit a youth to talk about our Dare to Dream Program I always tell them that in this program, they are in the drivers seat and their mentor and I are along for the ride. That statement is sometimes met with a shy smile or a look of disbelief. Children and youth experiencing foster care often have little to no control over where they live, where they go to school, or the people that come in and out of their lives. This lack of control can lead to youth feeling hopeless for their future or overcome with anxiety about all of things about the world that they do not know. By matching them them up with a mentor who is willing and ready to be a consistent figure in their life, to guide them through mistakes and hard times we give them someone who is going to give them a voice. Maybe you are thinking "how does providing consistency and choices impact them in the long run?” The book touches on this very idea-- “If you want to give them a sense of control, you have to give them power over their destiny rather than intervene on their behalf....You cannot help, fix, or save the young people you are working with. What you can do is work side by side with them, help them to understand their vision, and realize it with them. By doing that you are giving them back control. We are healing trauma without anyone ever mentioning the word” (344). This brings us back to one of the main themes of this book -- RELATIONSHIPS. This is what Cleveland Angels does so well. Dr. Van Der Kolk says “a fundamental truth is our capacity to destroy one another is matched by our capacity to heal one another. Restoring relationships and community is central to restoring well-being”(38). This book is a great tool for ANYONE who is going through a hard time, or caring for someone who is coming from a hard place. If we can all be a bit more kind, & lead with empathy and understanding, we can create a safe space where healing can happen. If anyone out there feels called to learn more about ways to get involved with Cleveland Angels, please contact us here, or you can email me at heather@cleangels.org! AuthorHeather Cruz-Holley is a Case Manager at Cleveland Angels. TBRI is a phrase heard often in the explanation and implementation of our programs, but what exactly is it? TBRI is a trauma-informed, attachment-based intervention that was created to meet the complex needs of vulnerable children- it stands for Trust Based Relational Intervention. Trust is learned in the first year of life, and youth who have experienced trauma have experienced a serious breach in trust. Without intervention, the effects of this can intensify later in adolescence and adulthood, especially if the trauma was of an interpersonal nature, say with a parent or sibling. Layers of trauma from abuse, neglect, maltreatment, system effects such as homelessness, discrimination, and multiple foster placements can worsen the child's ability to emotionally regulate or accept affection. TBRI can be used as a therapeutic model for those caring for vulnerable children to be able to provide effective support and rebuild connections in the brain that were missing or damaged by traumatic life events. TBRI is not only seen in homes where parenting is taking place, but also in residential homes for youth, group homes, schools, juvenile detention facilities, and clinical practices & therapy. Many foster parenting classes teach the principles of TBRI as well. When you join Cleveland Angels as a volunteer, our staff offers orientation and discussion on TBRI, to give you an understanding of how the way you interact and relate to a child can truly be healing. TBRI uses 3 main sets of principles that look at the child as a WHOLE. Here's a quick explanation of how TBRI supports healing in children with trauma. 1. Empowering Principles: This principle focuses on addressing the physical needs of the child, such as hydration, food, and creating a predictable daily routine. This principle helps children learn the importance of self regulation and also builds their trust when their basic needs are being met. 2. Connecting Principles: This principle focuses on the interaction between the child and caregiver that produces warmth and trust. Behavioral matching, playful engagement, eye contact, healthy touch, and being aware about tone of voice are ways to be intentional about connecting with vulnerable children. This principle focuses on the fact that connecting can disarm fear, gain trust, and enhance learning in youth. 3. Correcting Principles: This principle focuses on shaping behaviors and beliefs effectively so that children feel safe, protected and empowered. Using proactive strategies such as teaching self regulation and social skills, as well as reactive strategies that display effective and positive communication in response to the child's behavior. Interested in exploring TBRI more? Here is a great resource to further your knowledge! TBRI® 101: A Self-Guided Course in Trust-Based Relationships Sources: “TBRI®.” Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development, child.tcu.edu/about-us/tbri/#sthash.JRYa8W27.dpbs. Accessed 26 Jan. 2024. AUTHOR Chloe Stratton is a Case Manager at Cleveland Angels. Hello, Cleveland Angels community! We're thrilled to share some fantastic news with you – we've recently celebrated *SEVEN* incredible matches in our programs, bringing together volunteers with families and youth in need of support. It's moments like these that truly define the spirit of our community and the dedication of our team! Our Case Managers are truly the heroes behind the scenes, working hard hour by hour to ensure that support is in place for families and youth on our waitlist. Their commitment and passion drive the success of our programs, making it possible for us to create meaningful connections and a positive impact. So, how do we go about making these magical matches? It all starts when volunteers like you express their interest in joining our cause. Here's a glimpse into our matching process:
These matches wouldn't be possible without the dedication of our team and the incredible generosity of supporters like you. THANK YOU for being a crucial part of this community for youth who need you, and for making a difference in the lives of foster and kinship families in Cleveland! Let's continue to spread love , support, and joy – one match at a time! 🌟 AuthorApryl Rashid is the Program Director at Cleveland Angels. Happy New Year from all of us at Cleveland Angels! We are bursting with smiles here. Not only are 6 matches in the works, but thanks to some excited & generous community partners, 80 families throughout greater Cleveland were provided holiday baskets to share and enjoy at the end of 2023! Really wonderful. But as the new year rang in, and the sparkle of the holidays was fading, we came back ready for all that's next; because after all, there are more children & youth coming into foster care each day. And so, we are starting fresh once again, and thanking our first partner of the new year, TRG Multimedia for supplying us with comfort & hygiene items!! It's truly a beautiful thing to see how much this Cleveland community cares about making sure that these youth feel seen & valued. So how does supporting Cleveland Angels in this way work? First, TRG reached out to see how they could help. Carefully following the lists that we gave them, they collected hygiene items, snacks, journals, pens and other small gifts. These supplies will be used week in, week out by our Case Managers -- as they visit and check in on the families and youth that we support. Journals and fidget spinners appear to be this years favorites, as well as coloring books and small snacks like gum and chips. For youth, being offered a gift that was chosen specifically for you can be so meaningful. It's one way that we can show youth that we care about their needs and wants, and that we are only coming into their lives with love & good intention. Whether the need is a squish-mallow for a child who wants something to snuggle, books & snacks for a youth to keep in their room in a group home, or more practical essentials for a family who has grown overnight from taking in the children of relatives (as just a few examples), these items can be both a comfort and a conduit to connection. Having supplies like these in place for our staff to choose from for each individual they are visiting makes the Case Managers' day run much more smoothly, and allows them to focus on the most important thing that we do -- building relationships!! We are very grateful to TRG Multimedia for supporting our Programs team and enabling us to consistently deliver on our mission of intentional giving! We have a number of other initiatives throughout the year where we welcome donations such as these. Contact Ruth@CLEangels.org for more information, and Happy 2024! Author Ruth Atkinson is the Program Assistant at Cleveland Angels. Five years ago our founding board traveled to Austin, Texas to gain a deeper understanding of the programs and business model of National Angels. They returned to Cleveland to launch Cleveland Angels and began the journey to reach and serve every child and youth experiencing foster care in Greater Cleveland. When this team began the process to found Cleveland Angels, they did so because they knew every child and youth deserved to have someone cheering them on and empowering them to reach their fullest potential. They also believed the families who said yes to fostering deserved to have caring community members walk alongside them on their journey to enable them to continue saying yes to our kids who desperately need their consistent love and support. Over the past five years we have gained a deeper understanding of the foster care community and what role we can play in helping to strengthen support. We have also learned more about the devastating statistics our youth in care face if they age out without consistent, caring role models and support. This fuels us to push harder and passionately pursue these deserving youth because we KNOW that together we can change the experience of foster care and the statistics our kids are facing. For National Women's History month we would like to honor the women who made this mission possible. We are grateful to our founder, Susan Ramirez, for her vision, passion and dedication to found National Angels. The ripples she has created will be felt for years to come! Thank you to our founding board members for their dedication and commitment to serving children and youth in our community. They helped start this movement in Cleveland and we are energized by the momentum we have gained! Thank you to each and every volunteer, partner and investor who believes what we believe...that everyone can do something to impact the life of a child. We cannot wait to see what the next five years will bring! Come celebrate this important milestone with us on April 21st at the Foster the Future fundraiser and be a part of fostering the future for youth in the years to come! Click below for more information. Pictured (L to R): Colleen Mansuetto, Beth Draeger, Susan Ramirez, Gretchen Dupps, Stephanie Sharpnack, Kristin Caputo, Tess Smith
the year of covid-19It has been about one year since we all faced the biggest change ever experienced in our lives, Covid-19. Looking back, we are amazed at the way this community came together and all we were able to accomplish despite the challenges of, and also in response to, the pandemic. Cleveland Angels was able to safely provide care for its kids, youth, and families in need. Those were, and still are, tough times for youth impacted by foster care, and it is imperative, now more than ever, that they know that they are loved. Throughout the pandemic, our Love Box leaders were still delivering Love Boxes while following the CDC social distancing guidelines. The Love Box leaders would deliver these boxes of goodies and necessities to the family's doorstep and would see smiling children peeking through the windows eager to receive their boxes. In 2020, Dawn signed up to be a Love Box leader and soon formed a strong relationship with long time foster mom, Ms. Winnie and the 2 children in her care. Dawn went above and beyond and stepped in to help care for the kids when Ms. Winnie was unexpectedly hospitalized. Dawn provided the children with Christmas gifts, extra groceries, and guidance. "This year, the girls have had to navigate Covid and online school, on top of having jobs. When their foster mom was hospitalized, it resulted in yet another housing change. Many children and families experienced greater needs this year, which is why Cleveland Angels created an Amazon wish list where our community could purchase and provide for emergent needs of our families. Community members were also able to drop off purchased items through no contact donation drops that were scheduled at the Cleveland Angels office. This idea arose once we realized that the pandemic had led to a host of new needs that not all foster parents had the capacity to provide for their families. In addition to meeting immediate needs, teens at Metro Health received well-being and hygiene bags, kids received summer fun boxes, and families received special deliveries from Love Box leaders. Angel Relief campaignThe Angel Relief Campaign was launched specifically to help families during Covid-19. This campaign gained many followers, donations, and an overwhelming amount of support, which we are so thankful for. The rate of newborns coming into foster care in 2020 was quite large, which led to the creation of the Angel Relief Campaign. Along with the no contact drop offs and an Amazon wish list, the Angel Relief Campaign received several donations from the community to help provide extra support, care, and financial relief for foster families in need. Throughout the campaign, Cleveland Angels partnered with the Metro Health Medical Home for Foster Care and other volunteers to meet the immediate need brought on by the increased rate of newborns entering the foster care system, which included anything from diapers to cribs. We were grateful that Channel 5 news covered this campaign which helped us reach more kids in need. By meeting the needs of our newborns, foster families were able to say yes to a placement and say yes to giving a child safety and unconditional love. As you can see in the picture below, the community response to these needs was amazing through our Angel Relief Campaign. We are so thankful to be a part of this amazing Cleveland Angels community that came together to help our youth! looking forward...We are proud of what we have accomplished this past year and how many children we were able to serve despite these uncertain times. It is truly a blessing to be able to provide support for the children, youth and families in our community. We are excited to see what the rest of 2021 has in store for us, and because of our generous supporters, we look forward to serving even more children and families in our Cleveland Angels community!
An Interview with Executive Director, Gretchen Dupps, and President of the Board, Christy Rutkowski Cleveland Angels recently celebrated three years of walking alongside children, youth, and families impacted by the foster care system and we could not be more proud of everything we have accomplished. This past year, in particular, presented many new challenges and obstacles, but our struggles taught us valuable lessons and helped us develop new strengths. As we enter our fourth year, we have made some changes to our leadership structure in order to improve the efficiency and impact of our organization. Our founder and Executive Director Gretchen Dupps still leads Cleveland Angels with passion and drive, but she is now joined by our new President of the Board, Christy Rutkowski. In this interview with Gretchen and Christy, they share their personal experience with Cleveland Angels, their new roles within the organization, and what they are looking forward to within their positions.
“I know what it is like to have the unknown and trauma brought into your home. There is secondary trauma and underlying stress for everyone in the home. It is so important to make everyone a family member, a part of your home, and a part of your heart. Providing support to the entire foster family (foster parents, children in care, adopted and biological children) is what I believe will change the face of foster care.” -Gretchen Dupps Christy first heard about Cleveland Angels from our current Program Director, Apryl Rashid. After leaving the construction industry, Christy spent time as a stay-at-home mom homeschooling her two oldest children. During that time, she and her husband were active foster parents for 4 years through Cuyahoga County and adopted one of the young girls they fostered into their family. Christy and Apryl met through their foster parent training courses. Apryl shared with Christy about Cleveland Angels and a job opening within the organization. After having closed their home to more foster children, Christy saw that as the perfect opportunity to continue feeding her passion for educating others about foster care and advocating and supporting children and families impacted by the foster care system. Christy started her journey with Cleveland Angels by working as one of our first case managers but transitioned to our Church and Community Engagement Chair on the board in 2019. As a foster parent herself, Christy knows the flood of emotions that comes with that title. The fear of the unknown, the daunting feeling of being lonely, the joy of creating a better life for children, and the love for the kids and the relationship you create. From personal experience, she knows how important it is to have someone to show up. Whether it be to provide goods, spend time with the kids, converse with the adults, and give the biological kids in the home some extra attention too. It is critical to value and see everyone equally. “My drive is putting a face to what foster care is. To bring awareness and advocacy to these families. It is so important to have wraparound care for the family. I can remember incidents where my biological children were in need of something and they had to wait because there was something more pressing at the moment. It is important to me that our programs and mission, create an environment for everyone to be seen and everyone to be valued” -Christy rutkowski For the first year of operation, Cleveland Angels was run by a volunteer working board who helped run the day-to-day operations, fundraise, build relationships and connect within the community. It was, and still is, an all-hands-on-deck community, but we were able to hire our first case manager, Apryl Rashid, in spring of 2019. Working in both roles of President and Executive Director, Gretchen, was managing board work and communications, training the new staff, running day-to-day operations, planning and executing events, and much more. With a growing list of responsibilities, Gretchen felt that Cleveland Angels would benefit from a new balance of leadership as she stepped down from her official position of President of the Board. Christy had become actively involved in many facets of the business and was more than qualified to take on the role of President of the board. Christy and Gretchen now work in tandem to help operate our growing organization. As President, Christy now leads the board and continues to build relationships and networks within the community. In the role of Executive Director, Gretchen continues to run day-to-day operations, working closely with our case management staff, marketing team, and interns, executes events and outreach initiatives and helps to build our funding base. Gretchen and Christy will continue to work alongside one another; collaborating to build strategic growth plans to further our reach and serve more children. With a working board of 11 people, a growing staff, and large intern classes, Christy and Gretchen will work closely together to ensure everything runs smoothly. Both Gretchen and Christy are filled with passion and dedication for the mission of the Cleveland Angels. Their commitment and determination are complementary to one another and they hold the staff and board to a high standard of work ethic. Working together, they will grow networks in our community, diversify our volunteer and donor base and increase the impact for children and families in Greater Cleveland. We are grateful to have Christy step into this new role as President, and look forward to seeing this partnership continue to build and grow Cleveland Angels. In this blog post, we wanted to let the English family share their story about fostering and adopting during a global pandemic and how their Cleveland Angels Love Box group made a world of difference when they were in need of a community to support them. Emily English:
"We have always been blessed to have a tight knit community in both our church and our small town. We had heard of the Cleveland Angels and thought they sounded like an amazing group, but we didn't want to take an opportunity away from a foster family who might not have had the community that we had. About a year and a half after we adopted our first daughter, Hailo, we decided to take in another foster placement. We picked up Liana from the hospital when she was two days old. After she had been exhibiting some concerning symptoms, we took her to the emergency room at two weeks old to find that she had a congenital heart defect and would need open heart surgery. Her surgery took place at the end of January and she came home from the hospital at the beginning of February. In just a matter of days, Covid-19 became a major headline in America and just a few weeks later, everything shut down. With the shut down came the loss of our community. Since Liana was just weeks out of surgery, we had to keep her home and safe. An energetic three year old and a medically fragile infant made for a long and stressful spring. Fortunately, that was exactly the time we were matched with our Love Box group. Our incredible group swooped in and filled a need at the perfect time. They did our grocery shopping, played socially-distant soccer with our active preschooler, and put together crafts and activities to do with her since we couldn't go anywhere. Throughout the week we would receive texts, phone calls, and cards of prayers and encouragement. They became the community we never knew we needed. Although we finalized Liana's adoption in September, just two days before her first birthday, they still continue to have a friendship with us that we hope will last for many years!" November is National Adoption Month and we wanted to celebrate by sharing stories from three members of our Cleveland Angels board and staff who have personally grown their families through adoption. Christy is a member of our board and grew her family through adoption three years ago when they adopted their daughter into their family, alongside their five biological children. Christy had always wanted to be involved in foster care, but it had never occurred to her that they could adopt through foster care. It turned out, one of their foster care placements was in need of a forever family and it felt completely natural to be that family for her. Jacki is one of our case managers and grew her family through adoption by adopting two girls into her family of her, her husband and their two biological children. Jacki explained that even before she and her husband were married, they knew they wanted to adopt. They decided they wanted to go about that process through the foster care system. They knew there was such a need out there and they felt like God had called them to grow their family specifically in that way. Apryl is another one of our case managers and grew her family through adoption by adopting a boy and a girl into her family, alongside her biological son and another biological child on the way. Apryl explained that it has always been the intent of her and her husband to adopt a child and in 2013, they traveled to Colombia to meet a three year old boy who was in need of a permanent home and family. After that experience, they felt they would not be at peace knowing there are still so many children in need of a home, so in 2015 they became a licensed foster home and took in a young girl at eight weeks old. She soon became a permanent part of their family as well. reflectioning on adoptionWhat called you to grow your family through adoption? Christy: I always wanted to be involved in foster care, but it never really occurred to me that we would adopt through foster care. As life would have it, one of our placements was in need of a forever family and it just felt natural to be that family for her. Jacki: My husband and I knew before we were even married that we wanted to adopt. When the time came, we decided to become foster parents in hopes of eventually adopting one of our placements. We knew there was such a need out there and we felt like God had called us to help and grow our family specifically through foster care. In the nine years since we have been in the foster care/adoption world, our views have changed so much. We were pretty naïve when we started out, but our understanding of the system and the children is much better now than when we started. Apryl: I can’t really name what it was that called us to adopt. I can say that for some reason, the impetus to nurture patiently, to pass along the love I learned from my own mother was always a strong force in me. In high school, whenever I had a choice, I wrote my research papers on adoption or family law. At 16, I went to NYC with a school group. My young, small town mind ended up completely obsessed with the Broadway show I saw there, Miss Saigon. I was so affected by the intensity of this woman’s story of loving a child so much she would sacrifice herself to provide him a chance at a better life. That show became my touchstone to process why and how parents might part with their kids. When I went on to college and my world opened up, my interest in child development, cultural differences in family dynamics, and social services for children throughout the world became my focus. How could I help? I have a very distinct memory of finally seriously talking with my future husband about getting married, and telling him he should know how serious I was about adoption being something that I wanted for my own family. I didn’t need to say it though; he already knew. He has been the most supportive and kind dad to all of our kids, no matter how long or briefly they’ve been with us, or what their struggles have been. I feel amazingly lucky to have a partner who truly wants to use his life and time to be there for kids who need him. Plus, he is exceedingly handsome! (That last bit was his edit). Was there anything about the adoption process you had no idea to expect? Christy: Adoption is very easy in the sense that you love a child, but it’s very hard because it comes at a great loss. I think the part I didn’t expect was the tidal wave of emotions I felt on adoption day. I was very excited and happy to have our daughter be part of our family forever, but after developing a relationship with her birth mom, I also felt a deep sorrow for what had transpired to bring us to that point. Jacki: While this child is now a part of your family forever, your family is forever changed. Continued growth in areas of cultural competency, the adoptee experience and identity are all important things you will need to consciously work through. Apryl: Having been through both international and local adoption through the foster care system, I can say there were things that surprised me about both. The world of international adoption has shifted a lot, even since we experienced it, so I’m not sure I can speak at all to what anyone considering that would go through today. For us, the level of psychological testing required by our program was definitely a bit of a shock, as well as the amount of changing circumstances within our agency as we went, and then the intricacy of the paperwork required. It was overwhelming. Yet, we have the most beautiful memories of the people who hosted us in Colombia - people who truly cared for the kids & families they helped unite; people who fed us turkey lunch meat and boiled potatoes as a surprise one evening because they knew we were missing our American Thanksgiving back home. It was an incredible time. Our second adoption was in a way, worlds simpler and worlds more complicated for us as parents. On one hand, yes it took two years to arrive at an adoption day just as the first had, but the actual adoption, once the state had secured custody of the child, was relatively straightforward, affordable, and pretty quick. However, having parented her during those years and living with ups and downs of what may happen, if she would leave, where she may go, would she be safe...all of this was a learning experience for us emotionally. Through fostering, we have had to examine our biases, learn to balance our own feelings with what is truly best, and do the work to understand more deeply the wounds children experiencing trauma face. If you could give one piece of advice to someone who is considering fostering or adopting youth, what would it be? Christy: My advice would be have no expectations. Walk through each moment as it comes and walk with people who are also walking through the same journey. You will need the support for the roller coaster you are about to go on. Jacki: To never put expectations on the child or outcome. Things will always change and you need to be ready to pivot. Uncertainty is a part of the fostering and adoption journey. The sooner you accept this, the better it will go. Apryl: Know yourself well before you jump in. Be sure you know the ways you cope, both healthy and unhealthy, because your skills in that area will be tested, undoubtedly. Know your true intentions. Know deeply if you are ready to be devoted to a child who has been through trauma, even if the trauma was separating from their biological mother right at birth. It matters, and it will affect their lives. Know your capacity to accept children who will not be a mirror of you- not only physically, but very likely also in interests, in emotional regulation, and in how they interpret the world. If you enter it all with an open mind and heart, you are giving the child and yourself the best opportunity to make it work. Can you describe what it felt like to officially complete the adoption process? Jacki: It was very exciting and full of joy. We had thought for 10 months our daughter would be leaving, and she didn't. When we finalized the adoption, all those months of uncertainty changed and she was to forever be a part of our family. Apryl: I was honestly in awe at our son’s adoption. Seeing him in bed in our home the first night; it felt very surreal that we’d been entrusted with this child and that he was ours to love. For me, he made me a mother. That’s an altogether intense and visceral thing on it’s own, but even more so after waiting, hoping, and working toward that goal for so long. I felt overjoyed. At the same time, we are always aware that for him, the story did not begin there, and that he and his birth family walked through tragic circumstances for this to have happened. I have never liked the idea of him having been “chosen” or “meant to be” part of our family, to be very candid. When it comes to adoption, the love of a newly created family is a wonderful part of the story, but it is only part. We know that in another circumstance, we ourselves could have been the ones not able to care for our child, and in age-appropriate ways, we are really open with our children about how we came to be a family. We do not forget or take for granted the true privilege we have to raise these precious kids. Why do you think families who are in the process of fostering or adopting should get involved with Cleveland Angels? Christy: Everyone who volunteers to be a foster home or walks through adoption needs and deserves the support they can get from the volunteers at Cleveland Angels. Even if it is something as easy as a gift card for a meal or someone to play with a child so a parent can get a much-needed break, help is available. There are many people who don’t feel called to open their home or adopt a child, but they want to help in another way.
Jacki: As a current foster parent, I know emotional support and tangible help is so needed. Cleveland Angels provides this through their programs and helps to facilitate these relationships for foster parents. Being a part of Cleveland Angels programs offers invaluable resources for the foster family- allowing the best outcomes for the family and child to be achieved. Apryl: In my mind, the support of a community who understands, with unending positive regard, the challenges foster and adoptive parents have daily is immeasurable. In our family, we have had nothing but the utmost support and we have had only caring, well meaning friends helping us. Still, so many days we felt isolated and like no one could really understand what we juggled, especially through the fostering process and navigating the world of parenting special needs children. We were lauded and congratulated, yet often were pained behind closed doors, not wanting to burden anyone else with what we “had signed up for.” Cleveland Angels exists to lend consistent support to fostering families and to help share the load that comes with fostering- the unpredictability, the pain you see in your own kids as they struggle to understand saying goodbye to someone they’ve come to love, and so much more. When I first became part of this organization and entered a room full of people who were talking about kids like mine, and had the research and the goals to support families like mine, I felt relief and gratitude that made me ugly cry! It was probably quite a sight. Every parent needs support and a rest. Every child needs to know there are people who care about them, unconditionally. This organization creates a village for families, and a pathway to a more secure future for kids who are without a permanent family. To me, there is nothing more meaningful. |
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info@CLEangels.org Physical Address: 3615 Superior Ave Unit 4403C Cleveland, Ohio 44114 Mailing Address: 25935 Detroit Road PMB 220 Cleveland, Ohio 44145 |
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